My Worst Nightmare
by Kate Van Helsing
Summary: Poor single mother Mystique has a new boyfriend and her kids ain't too happy. Especially when the man is a complete weirdo. So they do what any responsible children would do: do everything they can to wipe him off the face of the earth. Review please!
1. A Date?

I must hold the world record for most going-on stories. Holy cow. This story is another comedy, featuring a character from the Marvel Universe who Kurt knows all too well, but his poor, single mother doesn't. Well, in the Evolution-verse, anything goes and I say these two characters hook up! Who is this mystery man? You'll see. A couple of the original comic readers might know who this is when I first introduce him. Complete with plenty of madness!

By the way, I went over to Colorado and went to Rock Jam! LYNARD SKYNARD! Had a great spot too, 'til some jerk smoking weed forced me to move so I wouldn't inhale any of that sick stuff. Don't use the Grim Creeper, kids. It smells horrible and kills your brain cells. I've never smoked anything and am living the good life.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing, I tell you!

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**Chapter One: A Date?**

It was autumn at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Children. At six o' clock in the afternoon the wind pleasantly swept through the trees. It was peaceful, quiet, no sound except for some birds gently singing their majestic symphony.

Please tell me you're not buying this.

Out in the backyard a ferocious war (they never could really call it a game and do it justice) of mutantball was being refereed by Mystique (she joined two months earlier since legally she still had custody over Rogue and her kids eventually forgave her, though it took tour tickets to Alice N Chains to get them to do it). Jean was pitching and Kurt was at bat. Jean's team wasn't even going to bother because how do you tag a teleporter? The telepathic redhead half-heartedly lifted the ball, intending to "walk" the fuzzy elf. Mystique watched her son with pride untl she glanced at the clock just above his pointed ears. Six-fifteen! She stood up and blew the whistle for all she was worth.

"Game over! Game over! Everybody wins! Captains shake hands!"

She ran like a bat out of hell to the mansion leaving a very confused Scott and Bobby grasping their hands kind of awkwardly. Rogue and Kurt, on the other hand, were a tad worried. Their mother would never leave while one of them was at bat. Something was up. Dropping their gear, the Dynamic Duo ran pell mell after their ex-estranged mother.

Sneaking quietly, the Darkholme (kinda) siblings followed Mystique. When she went into her room, Kurt nodded up at the air duct. His sister looked at him, "Are you crazy? One touch and it's Zap City, Population: You," she furiously whispered.

"Nope," he whispered back, carefully strapping a green dog collar choker with black spikes around her neck. Rogue pulled out her emergency black kohl liner box and used the mirror to examine her new bling, "Aw, thanks, lil' bro, but this will help _how?_"

Kurt smiled, "It's a mutant controller, sister mine. It lets you control your powers so me you no zappy. I was saving it for your birthday, but we have an emergency.," he stared at his mother's door.

"Indeed we do, dear brother, indeed we do."

After a bit of awkwardness, Rogue was still getting used to being able to touch again, the pair had gotten into the air duct and side-by-side watched Mystique. She had just gotten out of the shoer and had morphed into a blonde bombshell in a blue dress, (bar scene Mysti from X-2, peoples) spritzing on perfume and checking her curled hair and face for any accidental flaws during morphing.

She went to the full-body mirror and examined her entire body for any accidental fat-places. Her kiddos were confused. She never paid this much attention to her form before. Usually it was just swish, morph, Look-At-Me-I'm-Sandra-Dee. This rated an 8.4 on the odd-o-meter. (After seeing Sabertooth in a neon pink flamingo bikini, scaring these two was pretty dang hard.) What was going on?

Mystique sighed nervously, "Oh, I hope he likes me."

HE! She was going on a DATE! No. This wasn't happening. Come on, who in their right mind would date _Mystique?_ No one sane, that's for sure.

The metamorph ran out of her room and her spawn jumped out of the air duct. Kurt immediatly took charge of things, seeing as I-Wear-My-Sunglasses-At-Night wasn't there, "Rogue, stay here and see who mom's soon to be decapitated date is. I'll follow her."

Ordinarily, Rogue wouldn't take demands from her little brother, who would, but this was an emergency. Some guy running his hands over her mother, ugh. Kurt 'ported off and the Gothic girl searched through Mystique's room in search of her secret boyfriend. She spied in the corner of her eye an envelope resting on Mystique's desk. Paydirt. The next five minutes were at the moment the most nauseating of her life. (Just wait Rogue, it gets worse.)

_My Exquisite Raven,_ (Rogue gagged.)

_We have been communicating by letter for months ever since we found eachother on that Internet dating service. I'm dying to meet you in person, my darling._ (Rogue turned as green as her new collar.) _You are a light in my darkness, the missing half of my heart, my soul._ (There went Rogue's lunch.) _My sweet Raven, may I ask you out to dinner? I need you, my angel._ (She hacked up a lung.) _Let us go to, say, Johnny Carino's at six-thirty September 15? My aching heart awaits your presence. Until then, adieu my love._

_Your Deepest Admirer,_

_Edvard Haberdash_

Rogue lost all her organs in that heave, she knew it. That was the sickest, most disgusting thing she had ever read, seen, heard, etc, in her entire life. She wondered why Gambit never wrote like that to her...

Kurt 'ported to the ceiling of the lobby, hiding in the shadows. His mother was standing three feet from the door, playing with the hem of her dress. Suddenly the doorbell rang. After checking her appearance AGAIN in a mirror, she straightened herself out and opened the door. There was a weird pale man standing there with a bouquet of red roses. Kurt scowled. This guy was trying to get to third base with his mother on the first date! Freak.

The creep smiled, "Raven?"

She nodded, a stupid smile plastered to her face. Kurt wanted to gag. At least he was doing better than his traumatized sister.

"You are lovelier than I ever could have imagined," he bowed down and kissed her hand. Kurt held back a growl. This guy was going DOWN!

The jerk handed her the flowers mand escorted her to his car. He opened the car door and helped her inside. Kurt's perv-dar was going off like crazy. No guy put out this much effort and didn't expect someone else to put out _something_ else. I won't explain this. Ask your mommy.

And before anyone asks, "Oh, what if he's just being nice?" Huh-uh. Kurt knew better. The creep was using that slimy oily tone that only the girl being seduced ever bought. There would be much suffering at the hands of Nightcrawler for this guy. Oh, yes. Much suffering. Kurt grinned, so _this_ is how Dr. Evil feels.

When the car disappeared, Kurt jumped down and teleported to Mysti's room, "Mein. GOTT! This dude is a complete sicko!" There was a noticible lack of Rogue in the room, "Sis?"

He heard something in the bathroom and walked in. Rogue was hugging the toilet for dear life, hurling her poor little guts out, "Mein Gott, what happened?"

Without moving her head the Goth answered her little brother, "I read a letter her _date_ wrote, thats what." She proceded to dry heave, her poor tummy empty. Kurt patted her back, "Easy now, sis, don't force it. What's the prick's name?"

"Evar Habaden," she mumbled.

"Was?"

"Edvard Haberdash, you overgrown smurf!" She picked herself up and washed off. Kurt sat her on their mother's bed. Kurt then asked, "So, where is mother and her esteemed boy-toy going?"

"I think that Johnny Carino's near Wal-Mart, where you took Amanda that one time." Kurt smiled, "Mmmmm, Amanda..."

He got a smack in the head, "Focus, loverboy. We need to track down those two wackos and ruin their date subtly."

"TO THE SCOTTMOBILE!" A swirling background appears and a pair of red goggles comes near the screen and back down again.

Edvard drove the car up to the restaurant parking lot and opened the car door for Mystique (Raven). She still had that dazed look girls from 10 to 210 get when they see Johnny Depp. You know, _yowza._ He held her hand the entire timeas they walked to the restaurant and to their reserved seat. He helped her slip off her black leather jacket. Sitting down, they just stared at eachother. Raven with a girly crush, Edvard with an "oh, yeah, I'm getting some tonight". The metamorph was oblivious to this of course. The two people watching them from a dark corner of the ceiling, however, were disgusted.

Kurt groaned, "Could they get _any_ more nauseating?"

Rogue raised an eyebrow, "Did you see that letter? Now _that's_ some high-quality barf-o-rama material," she brushed a strand of newly grown, lower-shoulder blade length hair out of her face in case she needed to puke again. Guess where she was going to aim.

The Darkholme siblings were furious, as you can probably tell. If you can't, you need to get out more. They snarled, watching their mother and Count Freakula talk aimlessly about nothing. Sickening, ain't it? They were considering hotfooting it to Tijuana and changing their faces. (Or image on the holowatch if you were a blue fuzzy elf.) The talk got so "Blaugh!" that the pair were forced to BAMF out for fresh air. Lord, did they need it.

TWO HOURS LATER

Raven and Edvard sauntered merrily out of the restaurant and the Dynamic Duo again resumed their noble crusade of keeping Mr. Haberdash's hands to himself. Instead of to his car, Edvard led Mystique out to the park for a little stroll. Not good. The brother and sister climbed to the top of the tree where their mama amd her new boy were laying completely unseen. Now they could spy on the two with perfect impunity, whatever that means.

Edvard scooted closer to the former assassin/ terrorist/ spy/ IRS agent. (Oh, the horror. An IRS agent? The monster...) He tried to pick up conversation, "So, you're really convinced we're soulmates?"

"Uh-huh!"

He grinned, "Well, it appears we are alike in that school of thought..." He leaned forward and kissed her full on the mouth.

Rogue and kurt were MAD. The elf was frothing at the mouth and his sister was bright red and snorting fire. Before they could do anything drastic, Kurt 'ported them both to Scott's car. Oh, the man would pay. He would PAY!

Preferably with meet-n-greets to Metallica.


	2. Man of Mystique's Dreams, Sorta

WOO-HOO! I am LOVED! Thank you, ladies and germs! Your reviews give me strength, right before it's back to the strait jacket! HELP! Anyways, thanks you guys. It really means alot. Now who _is_ Edvard Haberdash? Read on (Or if you _really_ wanna know, Google him.) to find out. Peace out, yo. (Toad yelling) _Hey, that's _my_ phrase, sista!_ Oh, go get disected in a school science lab, ya wack job. (Toad) _Stupid Authress..._ (Is thrown in a pit with a bunch of rich people and I yell, "Hey, King-size frog legs!" Ouch-kabibbles.)

I OWN NOTHING. DON'T SUE! Stan Lee and Metallica own. Actually, "Whiskey In the Jar" was originally done by Thin Lizzy, so they own some stuff. Wait, wasn't it originally an Irish drnking song?...

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**Chapter 2: Man of Mystique's Dreams, Sorta**

Kurt and Rogue had officially reached brand new dimensions of pissed off. Even Wolverine didn't mess with them by making them do the "new and improved" version of a Danger Room session. Scott never even mentioned them "borrowing" his car. Yeah, they were that pissed. In case you have forgotten, their dear mother Mystique had recently acquired a weirdo date called Edvard Haberdash who tongued her on the first date; and she _liked_ it. Her spawn, however, did **_NOT_**. Not one little bitsy bit.

They were currnetly plotting the best way to castrate Dear Uncle Eddy. A rusty, serrated surgeon's knife from the Civil War that had never been washed, or a laser "repo-ed" from Magneto that caused the victim to stop producing testosterone and turn into a woman? Decisions, decisions. Either way, the man must suffer. They turned around when their P.O.'d enhanced senses heard the doorbell ring.

Jamie (Who has recently decided "Multiple" is a stupid name and is experimenting with others. He is currently "The Mutant Formerly Known As Multiple".) answered the door. There was (surprise, surprise) Raven Darkholme and Edvard Haberdash, all aglow from their first date. Sickening, ain't it? He whispered softly in her ear and she giggled, swatting playfully at him. Nightcrawler and Rogue immeadiatly visioned his slow and painful demise at their hands. Raven turned to her date, "Wait here, darlig, I'll go get my kids."

"It will be a pleasure to meet them, my fair one."

The former leadress of the Brotherhood skipped, actually-for-the-love-of-all-that's-good-and-holy _skipped_, up the stairs to her offspring's room. The two mutants gasped and, Rogue holding on to Kurt like Kate Winslet to a door, teleported back to HQ. Mysique gently knocked on their door, "Kids, you in there?"

They paniced. Rogue looked at her brother, "Awman, whattawegonnado?"

Kurt swallowed hard, "Um, we behave nicely until we're alone with the freak, then we act like we know our mom's an assassinswithout really saying that."

Blink blink, "And just how is _that_ gonna work, genius?"

An evil smile crept on to the blue elf's face, "Well, our mutter really _was_ an assassin right? Eventually, he's gonna find out, and be totally whacked out about it. We'll just be, speeding up the process a little."

The Goth returned the gesture, "An ingenius solution, brother mine."

The Dynamic Duo opened the door for their dear mommy, Kurt flicked on his image inducer, and they walked down the stairs with her. Rogue's recently concocted master plan was foiled when it turned out Mystique knew her new choker let her control her powers. So much for "accidentally" forgetting to put on her gloves. Edvard was reading The Once and Future King when they got to him. The creep stood up, "Hello again, my darling Raven. Where are your children? Those two beautiful things are far to old to be yours."

She giggled, "Oh, don't flatter me like that, of course they're mine!"

"I knew there was a reason they looked like angels," the "angels" rolled their eyes, still trying to keep smiles on their faces, "Madmoiselle," he said kissing Rogue's gloved hand. Rogue held back a flinch and made a mental note to get new gloves as these had to be burned. She took them off behind her back and kicked them under the sofa.

Edvard turned to Kurt, "And you must be the other man in her life," he grabed Kurt's hand and shook it. Kurt struggled to keep his smile and held Edvard's hand hard enough to break it. They let go, "Strong grip, they really take after you, Raven."

She blushed. The two teenage mutant Darkholme peoples groaned. This dude was really buttering her up, wasn't he? He'd pay. Big time.

Edvard cleared his throat, "So, is there anything to drink?"

"There's whiskey in the jar," Kurt smirked. Rogue giggled.

Mystique glared at them, "Ha ha, you two are a riot. I'l go get some lemonade, okay?"

The Darkholme siblings sat down on the sofa along with Edvard. Mysti waltzed off to the kitchen to get the aforementioned four glasses of lemonade. Kurt and Rogue grinned at eachother. _Now_ the fun would truly begin.

Kurt yawned nonchalantly, "So, how well do you know our mother?"

The pale freak of nature shrugged, "Pretty well. She told me nearly every detail of her life via e-mail, letters, and tonight."

Rogue took up the tale, "Really, even about the thing in Singapore with the Prime Minister of Heyelvisisaliveinlalaland?"

"The guy who was taken down by some unknown sharpshooter?"

Kurt smiled. He _knew_ his mother'd done that, "Yeah, funny how they never found 'him.'"

Edvard narrowed his eyes, "Just what does this have to do with Raven?"

"Oh, nothing. Just the fact our beloved mom was in the city at the time and was suddenly a whole lot richer after she got home. That's all."

Edvard looked down and rubbed his chin, appearing to be contemplating what he had just been told. Score one. But for our favorite brother/sister crime-fighting duo, or the mysterious Edvard Haberdash?

The pale man stared at the two X-Men, "You two really think you can scare me off that easily? I know all about Mystique. Yes, I said _Mystique_. I've known for a while. How? Well, that's frankly none of your business. Your mother is _mine,_ kiddos. I'm your future step-father. Suck it up."

Rogue and Kurt were stunned. Edvard's blunt response was not what they expected at _all_. How the hell did this jerk know? This was,_ unnatural_. The guy wasn't a mutant, after Kurt's father and Sabertooth she had vowed never to date anything that wasn't human ever again, so that ruled telepathy out. He was either in the CIA or supernatural. He sure as hell wasn't working for the government.

If this whacko _was_ some kinda magical whatsit, Rogue knew the exact guy to ask for a favor. He was in her World Religions class and she had helped him memorize the Buddhist Eightfold Path. He owed her big. She just hoped the guy wouldn't hit on her. Oh, not that she was hanging on for a certain Cajun or nothing. Nope, she didn't care for LeBeau at all. No, uh-uh, nada. Why do you ask?

"Edvard" just sat back and watched the effect his statement had upon his presumed future step-kids. Oh, yes, things were really turning out _his_ way.

"Hello? I'm back!"

The three feuders sat up quickly and smiled brightly at Mystique holding a tray of lemonade glasses with paper umbrellas. The battle would continue later. They had to keep up an image with the shapeshifter in front of them.

She sat down perkily between her holowatched son and her boyfriend, "So, how are you three getting along?"

"Oh, fine! Couldn't be closer friends! Just wunderbar!"

She smiled, "Glad to hear it!"

After 15 minutes, short for Mysti, long for her spawn and boy-toy, it was finally time for "Edvard" to leave. They hugged tightly, no way would the metamorph make out with anyone in front of her kids, and Edvard walked out of the Xavier Institute for the Genetically Challenged. After he was out, Mystique louged over the sofa giggling while her near murderous offspring teleported after the imposter. Who did this dude think he was, anyhow?

They crept over to a bush ten feet from "Edvard" and watched him. He was changing. He wasn't really human. Perfect blackmail! His hair grew darker and wilder, his eyes turned red, and his skin turned a shade of white that would have made a vampire give him a tanning booth coupon. His clothes turned into a green body suit with a golden belt and a raggedy cape. The whole outfit looked like it had been designed by Tim Burton. He clicked his fingers and his car was sucked into a vortex or whatever. The Dynamic Duo watched in awe. There was no way their mother would date him now!

He leaned back, seemingly trying to get a kink out of his back. Flipping his cloak's hood over his head he snapped his fingers again, "**Dreamstalker, get over here.**" Out of plain nowhere, a huge black horse with an ebony razor blade, not horn, _blade_, coming out it's forehead galloped at its master's bidding. Snorting fire, there was no frickin' way you could call that thing a "unicorn". You might as well call Wolverine a science fair project while you're at it. Rogue gulped. Oh yeah, she'd have to ask the expert.

"Edvard" hopped on the monster-horse, "**Those two little brats are going to be trouble, eh D.S.? Oh well, let them try to get between me and my queen. Nothing stops Nightmare when he wants something. Oh, what am telling you for? You're just a damn horse. Hey, cut it out!**"the demon horse had sat down and was lazily nipping the grass, ruining the intimidating effect he had earlier, "**We're going home, girl!** **Get up you lazy good-for-nothing!**"

Dreamstalker slowly got up and then galloped into whatever dimension it came from. The Darkhlome siblings looked at eachother. Their enemy was a demon guy called Nightmare. Kurt sighed, "I knew mom had problems with men, my wants-to-take-over-world father, Sabertooth, who needs no explaination as to _why_ he was bad news, but_ **damn**_, you think there'd be a limit. Now we got a guy who thinks he's the frickin' demon Casanova."

Rogue shook her head, "Hey, if he doesn't have plans of world domination or a huge freakin' bloodbath, she won't date him."

"Is that why you like Remy, because he's a maniacal bomber? Ahh, mommy and daughter have the same taste in guys!" he started laughing so hard he cried. Rogue scowled and placed her hand on her brother's neck.

ZAP.

Thud.


	3. Who the Hell is Nightmare?

(does got reviews dance) Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Got reviews! I da man! Uh, girl. Whatever. Yippi-di-doo-da! Next chappie pretty much explains itself. I just thought it was necessary.

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**Chapter Three (I Guess): Just Who the Hell _IS_ Nightmare, Anyhow?**

Alright, drawing from various Marvel (he's in the comics, I did not make this dude up) sources, this is basically who Nightmare is (will be repeated later by Rogue's "expert"):

Nightmare is a Level Three demon who is in control of the Dream Realm, which he can manipulate at will. In it, he is pretty much omnipotent. Even out of his realm, he is immortal. (He is also the inspiration for Neil Gaiman's Sandman series. If you'll notice, they both even have pale skin and messy hair!) He drags people's souls in his dimension while they sleep, leaving their unconscious bodies behind. He tortures them with, well, nightmares for as long as he likes, for the fun of it. In the DR he can appear in horrible forms based on the victim's memories. So if you're a horror movie freak, he could turn into a Leatherface-werewolf cross and terrify the lights out of you. It all depends. He can also summon certain lesser demons in his pad (I know this term stopped getting used in '69, shut up). He can also summon that scary frickin' horse I mentioned last chapter. It's name really is Dreamstalker. And if it's a mare, it would be a cute pun on his name! Since he can only survive off human pychic waves, he only keeps his victims for a short while, one night's duration, before letting them back to their bodies usually with no memories of running into him, only waking up in a cold sweat or screaming, knowing you had one hell of a night.

Remember when I said he was immortal? It's got rules. He can only live as long as there are creatures that dream. So he "feeds" off their psychic energies or whatever. He can't live without us. On the flipside (I must be the last person on the face of the earth to use that term) without dreams, they'd go nuts. Literally. They need him, he needs them, it's a win-win situation.

If I had to pick an arch-nemisis, it would probably be Stephen Strange. For Pete's sake, they were introduced in the same comic in the smae exact ISSUE. They've got a long a spiteful history. Strange actually does a spell every night to make sure Nightmare can't drag him to his realm. Nightmare usually won't leave the DR since he is really a ton weaker out of it. Frustrated, he makes the Hulk attack Strange, giving Hulk the impression Strange is plotting something against him. Strange, reaching in Hulk's mind, Strange and Bruce Banner team up to erase Nightmare's influence. So, yeah. Nightmare and Strange ain't exactly all buddy-buddy with eachother.

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Believe it or not, Nightmare has actually had somewhat of a lovelife. The first (at least that Marvel has written about) wasn't exactly a romance. A succubbus called Zilla Char who was in control of yet _another_ nightmarey place called the Dreamscape (creative namers, Marvel people are; Jean's actual codename is _Marvel Girl_; can you say "lame") was going somewhere from somewhere (isn't Google wonderful, people should seriously use it more) and thought it would be a good idea to take a shortcut through the Dream Realm. NEVER TAKE SHORTCUTS GIRLS. That's the moral here. Nightmare found her and forced himself on her (moral of going down back alleys without a can of mace, as my mama likes to say). She got pregnant and either died in childbirth or was murdered by her and Nightmare's daughter, another succubbus called the Dreamqueen, shortly after birth. Which, if true, means Marvel demons start out bad from the cradle. Either way, the whole deal basically sucked for Zilla. Although father and daughter, Dreamqueen and Nightmare are brutal enemies, Dreamqueen wanting her daddy's estate. (This is not a special on Court TV)

* * *

Second girl (listed by Marvel) was some girl who apparently doesn't have a name. She's important to Marvel mostly as the mother of Nightmare's _second_ girl, Daydream. Daydream's mom is some random human girl who got pregnant bey Nightmare while she was asleep. Daydream really does not like her old man and prefers to hang out with us mere mortals. She's a rebel. She's cool. At least, I _think_ she is...

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The last and most famous courtship of Nightmare. The only one really worthy of being called an actual romance. Somewheres around the early nineties, when Sandman was uber-popular, Marvel decided to put out a Nightmare series and see how that went. Okay, so it went pretty much like this: Nightmare has been noticing alot of people have been having bad dreams about a horror movie actress named Roxanne. (Last name unknown to all.) The girl was currently in another movie with herself as a vampiress named Taran Tula (I must again congradulate Marvel for their oh-so-original names.) and joked about the taste of the fake blood and her boss Lucre got on her for ruining the shot. Says she's finito if she screws up again. She falls asleep and Nightmare the creep watches her. Yeah, weird. He decides to go visit her in person. She wakes up and I guess they meet somehow, and he's disguised as a human. He introduces himself as Edvard Haberdash, oh looky what I named him, and starts saying a bunch of stuff she thinks sounds like it's coming from her mind. Most likely he studied what she dreamed about and pschoanalyzed it. They kiss in a funhouse.

Later, Roxy dreams Edvard kills her in one of the movies. She tells him but doesn't say the killer's him She brings him to the studio, colleages say he looks weird. He asks her a ton about Lucre, she gets mad and wants to ditch him. She sees him give money to a homeless guy and goes back. She knows there's something "off" about him and he shows off some powers without actually saying, "Hey! I'm a dream controlling demon from another plane of reality!" They go to a nightclub Lucre opened that people delibrately go to to be scared called Club Fear on opening night since, hey, Rox works for Lucre and Nightmare is always looking for inspiration for new tortures for your sweet little dreams. Rox is getting a teensy bit scared of Ed and tells Lucre, who says she deserves it. Ed and Lucre become partners and invent (with the help of Marvel's astounding name team) the Nightmare Chair. A virtual reality, or so Luc thinks, device that brings your fears to life. Not literally, yet.

Rox and Ed talk about her past, he seems to be enjoying her pain, she gets mad and stomps off. Frustrated, he summons up a bunch of monsters to scare the daylights out of her. She gets scared. As soon as she accidentally falls in his arms, Eddo sends all the monsters away. When she looks up and sees him, she asks why he did it. He, the creep, says he wants to possess her. I believe we all know what this means. She gets really pissed (who wouldn't) and tells him not in a gazillion years. Ed politely throws her in the Nightmare Chair and all of her worst fear seemingly come to life. When she eventually woke up, she found Ed in full Nightmare persona having an all out brawl with a dude named Phobia and she gets attacked by some other demon-thing called Neurotica who totally jacks up her sense of reality. When she comes back to mormal, nightmare won, everyone's happy, ladidadidi. She asks him if he would let her go if she wanted to leave. He says yeah but she knows he wouldn't.

Later on, Dr. Strange goes to Club Fear (now owned by Nightmare) for whatever reason and recognizes the guy. Roxanne can tell right away they ain't really on too good terms. Eventually, Nightmare leaves Roxy all on her lonesome. Though by that time she probably was jumping for joy.

* * *

The latest thing I've seen on him, and the only reason I ever found out about him or considered using him, was because he was in the wonderful and all too brief solo Nightcrawler series as an ally. If you haven't read it yet, read it. All true fans of fuzzy must read it. Anywho, I was looking up some stuff on him and gues what I find on a forum: NIGHTMARE WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE NIGHTCRAWLER'S FATHER. WEIRD. Okay, well, now they got Azazel as Kurt's father who could have been such an awesome bad guy if Chuck Austen had ANY writing talent, but, watcha gonna do? So, if Mystique was his mother, that would mean her and him would have to have some sort of relationship! But, since this is Evo-verse, I'm gonna make Nightmare try to be Kurt and Rogue's step-dad! And boy, have they got plans for him...


	4. Pink Skittles?

And on to our story. REVIEW, DAGNABBIT!

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**Chapter 4: Pink Skittles?**

"Are you sure this guy's an expert? And, if so, he's won't expect you to _date_ him, will he?"

"Relax, Kurt, Steve owes me big. He won't ask for anything. If he does, he gets an all-expenses-paid-for-by-Logan trip to Adamantium Claw City and Knee-To-The-Groin County."

Kurt winced. Ouch. No time to think about that now. Places to go, mother's boyfriends to brutally slaughter, "Is this it?"

Apartment #314. Yup, it was the right one. The door was made out of what appeared to be four inches of solid steel. Can you say paranoia? Kurt rolled his eyes. This guy was either a psycho or seriously needed to get a girlfriend. Or both. Rogue rung the doorbell which oddly enough played "Zipp-a-dee-doo-da."

A muffled voice came from the inside, "Goway, mmsleepin."

Rogue leaned near the door, "Come on, Steve, wakey wakey."

"Shu-up. Lemmasleepyajerks."

"Steve, get up. I really need you."

"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

"STEPHEN STRANGE GET YOUR ASS UP RIGHT NOW OR I'LL TEAR YOUR F#CKIN' HEAD OFF!" Rogue started kicking the door as hard as she could, giving her step-brother a heart attack.

"Rogue! Was are are you doing!"

"Getting his ass up so he can help us! Why ain't he moving faster?"

"Because it's midnight and he is in all probability tired as hell?"

She mumbled a bit but didn't talk. The door, which looked like it belonged on a fortress, opened to reveal a very P.O.'d looking boy around eighteen with tussled brown hair, a thin mustache, the beginnings of a goatee, thin frame, and a grey wife beater over blue Superman boxers, "You. Had. Bet-ter. Have. One. _Hell_. Of a. Good. Reason."

Twenty minutes later the Darkholme siblings were seated on Steve's coach, which due to the blanket he was formerly sleeping on, while he searched through the Internet, "Okay, Nightmare: says here he's a pretty dang powerful demon. He can make people go beddy-bye, and when they are he can control what they dream. One time he even knocked a girl up when she was asleep," Kurt and Rogue got _very_ nervous, "He can someone succubi into his dimension, not sure I want to know why, and in his little realm he is near omnipotent. Outside, he is a ton weaker, but still can't be killed."

"WHAT!"

"What I say?"

Rogue stuttered uncomprihensible words but Kurt somehow found his tongue, "You mean to say, he can't die? Ever?"

"No, why?"

Rogue found _her_ tongue and they answered simultaneously, "He's dating our mom."

Poor Steve looked like a broken-hearted puppy, his eyes were so big, "O.O Oh. Well, um, I guess you'll have to find a pill or something to make her stop dreaming. As long as her imagination is still going, she shouldn't go crazy. Shouldn't be too hard. After Mr. McCoy retired, he went to work for Xavier, right? Saw the pill thing on _Nightmare on Elm Street_ I think."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, "Have you _ever_ had a date?"

Steve got the puppy look again, "Yes. Many. With _women_. _Real _women. _Attractive_ real women. And I was _**sober**_!"

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Whatever you need to tell yourself. Anything else?"

"You could pay me back with a date?"

"**_GRRRRRRRRRR._**"

"Or not! Or not is an option! Speaking of which, what time is it?"

The Dynamic Duo froze. Oh, damn, what if their mother was already asleep!

Steve understood, "RUN! GEEZ, THAT SICKO COULD BE FOOLING AROUND WITH YOUR MOM AS WE SPEAK! YOU'RE MUTANTS! USE YOUR POWERS AND GET! GO LIKE YOUR #$IN' LIVES DEPEND ON IT! 'CAUSE THEY DO! **_RUN!!!!_**"

Like they needed to be told twice.

Taking a shortcut through Kurt's dimension, the demon things scrambling out of the enraged siblings' way, they went to Mystique's room. Their mother was creeping them out severly, "Yes, please, kiss me again Edvard!"

They freaked. Rogue quickly whipped out a portable radio, turned it up, and let it rip. There is no being on the planet that can ignore "St. Anger" or any Metallica blasting out their eardrums. It is a scientifically proven fact, "YAUGH!"

Mstigue shot up, hit the roof, and fell splat. When she saw her spawn her look was like this: **DISOBEDIENT ONE FREAK ONE DESTROY DESTROY DESTROY**

"_WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PUNKS DOING_!!!!"

They panicked for a moment, then Kurt got an idea, "I'm sorry mom. It's just, well, me 'n' Rogue here were planning a little mother-kids bonding thing, and with your date we didn't have a chance to do it then and I just, I just..." Here Kurt started sobbing his little blue heart out.

Mystique felt really bad then and started crying, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Kurti! You too, Roguey! I'll never yell at you two ever again! WAAH!"

She grabbed her kids and pulled them into a death-grip. Even though their ribs were being crunched, the Darkholme siblings couldn't help but get that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.

* * *

**IN THE DREAM DIMENSION**

Nightmare was confused. What happened? One minute he was making out with Raven and now he was all on his lonesome. He knew those good-for-nothing kids of hers had something to do with it. He needed to torture something. Grabbing the World's Ugliest Woman's soul, otherwise known as Brad Pitt's soul, he proceded to torture him with reruns of Becker. The man-woman's soul's anguished screams cheered the demon up a bit. He may be bad, but he feels good.

* * *

**BACK AT XAVIER'S SCHOOL FOR THE MOST POPULAR SUPERHERO TEAM IN COMIC HISTORY**

Kurt, Rogue, and their mom walked down to Hank's laboratory. Mystique had cheered up considerably, "So, what's this project with Hank again?"

Kurt shrugged, "Oh it's just a pill thing that's supposed to help you think more clearly."

"And we're test subjects," Rogue added.

She looked at them oddly, "Are you two _sure_ it's safe?"

"ABSOLUTELY!"

Mystique looked for the most part unconvinced, but she got the feeling that her kids still didn't completely trust her, so she had to help any way she could. Hank was in his lab working away. There was a pool on how long the furball had until he plopped down dead from insomnia. Smart money was on two years. At the most.

The trio strolled in and Hank looked at them oddly, "What are you three doing here?"

"Uh, we're here for that _project_, Mr. McCoy." Kurt casually remarked. At least, he _thought_ it was casual. Wasn't it?

"What project?"

Rogue continued, "You know," she lowered her voice so only Hank and her brother would hear, "We need a pill to stop us from dreaming and you better have one 'cause it's an emergency!"

"Why should I give you two such a pill?"

Kurt glanced over the older blue man's shoulders, "Is that a calender of female-only gorillas on your desk?"

Hank froze, "O.O Oh, THAT project! I remember now, silly me! Come here kids!"

He led them to a cabinet that was full of medicine containers that looked like they were filled with pink Skittles. He gave them ten of the things each plus an extra ten for their mama, "Just take one a day, before bed, and that's it! Now get out of here!"

Rogue nodded and exited the room with her mother. Kurt stayed behind, "Hey, Mr. McCoy. Why do you keep large amounts of dream-stopping pills in your lab?"

Hank winced, "Uh, _personal_ reasons."

"Does it have anything to do with the gorilla girls?"

"Go away, Kurt."


End file.
